I am a soldier. I worked in the special units for the Government of Afghanistan. I went to school and was a part of our society. I had dreams, plans. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have children, and to make a soccer team. Now I don’t even know if I will survive.
The threats became very serious and my older brother came and said I had to go, I no longer can live here, that they will not be able to protect me. Take some money and go. When I talk with them, I still question this decision. What we’ve been through to get to Europe has been terrible. I actually lived through a lot in the army, but what smugglers and certain members of the police are doing is outrageous. Shameful! What is the price of freedom? I keep asking myself … What is the price for going and living in peace, marrying and preparing to work. We young people are aware that we have been doing what suits them for years. Through social networks we have seen and learned all kinds of things. Previously this was not possible because everything was controlled, but now via the Internet we can find all possible information.
My mother cries every time we talk. She cries, saying that I won’t return and that they continue to search for me, that I must find and start another life. Where I will find it I do not know, I do not even know if I will be able to live in peace or if I will constantly be on the run – how much does it mean to them to catch me?
I miss my brother terribly, as he is my older brother and my role model. He graduated from college and has a good job. I always looked at him with admiration and now I do not know when the next time will be when I will be able to see him.
Until then, I’ll be dreaming. About my friends, how we laughed, hung out and sang. I feel that I only have dreams left.
Published by the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom with the support of Mikser House. The views expressed in this blog are those of the authors alone. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom.