I worked as a translator for NATO. My uncle used to be highly positioned in the military and helped me get this job as I speak four languages. After a year threats began to arrive, and everyday. I had a lot of problems, and could no longer withstand this pressure.
My family told me to pack and save myself. Working for NATO, I saw many things, including just how they are. I knew that there are no jokes with the Taliban. I knew that the threats were real.
I started my journey four months ago. In Turkey I had to sleep in the park and I was thinking about everything: my life and hopes and expectations. If someone had said that I’d now be running from the Taliban, I would not have believed him. My dream is to go to Germany or to stay here and to find a girl to marry, and start a family.
My family is very important to me, I can rely on them – I have always relied on them. Now I am alone and lost. Everything fell apart and disappeared. I’m young, I know I can handle it, but it is terribly difficult knowing that those closest to me are thousands of kilometers away. I often think that our parents protected us too much, perhaps now I would be more resourceful if they hadn’t.
Now I’m completely in the hands of fate, already knowing that I do not have a great future ahead of me. But the past was beautiful. I had a real bed, shower, shoes, my own sweatpants, jacket. Now I have to ask for someone to give me these. I had a cooked lunch every day and I ate with my family, now I eat with strangers who share the same or even worse fate than me.
Hopefully I will again have a place to stay, and that I will achieve something. This feeling that you must always depend on others is horrible. That which I have experienced, I will never forget. The closer we are to our goal, the friendlier the people are. Believe me I did not expect to find such nice and humane treatment here. I do not have to beg. For days I dreamed of taking a bath, brushing my teeth, shaving – I feel like a new man.
I’m concerned about the consequences of what I went through. I’m afraid to close my eyes sometimes. We are fleeing from war, from the threats, extortion. It hurts, all that I went through. They constantly tell me to be strong, that I am a man, but I cannot … only a robot could remain strong after such an experience.
I want to help people. I want to teach children languages and to make a difference. I’ll help refugees in Belgrade, and I will see later where my journey will take me. First, I need time to recover, to put away the terrible things I went through, and to decide on my own what to do and where to go. In any case, my calling will be to help others.
Published by the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom with the support of Mikser House. The views expressed in this blog are those of the authors alone. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom.