Blog: I keep going, there’s no going back

I’m from Afghanistan, a beautiful country, but one that is rather strict when it comes to women. My younger sister and I am going to our father in Germany because life in Afghanistan is getting harder and harder. Terrorists blackmail many people, many are shot on the streets and it is no longer safe to even go out into the yard. My sister and I shouldn’t attend school so we’re not forcibly recruited and forced into things we don’t even want to think about. It is constantly happening all around us. Our father sent money and told us to come to him.

I want to get an education, and I want to become a dentist. Medicine really entices me and I want to help others. If you grow up in a country where almost everything is forbidden, then you want to taste a few things to learn about other cultures and other systems. Religion and education remain safe with a person, but knowledge is something invaluable. That’s why I want to catch up on everything. I know I can do it. My wish is to create something, to not depend on my father or future husband, and to not have to live like my mother who suffers so much. And believe me, she has struggled plenty. I cannot talk about it, it makes me feel terribly. I want to continue to laugh and to stay on open issues.


Germany is my choice right now because I am traveling to my father, but when I go for my education and become independent, the question is where my path will take me. It’s terrible to live closed in without any possibility to access information or truth. I can not wait to feel that kind of freedom, in which I can say what I want, and to laugh and no one will look, where laughter is a normal thing. I love to laugh and to wake up the happiness in others.

I’ve had a wonderful experience to give others something that I do. For several days now, my sister and I have organized a workshop drawing henna for girls from Serbia. The response was huge and I cannot tell you how happy we are to see that local women are interested to learn about Middle Eastern culture. I think I’ll do that for a while in Germany, because those are the only things that I know how to do right now. I would love to learn another skill so that I will be able to support myself while I get my education.


In Afghanistan, my friends and I drew on each other’s hands and feet. We enjoyed telling stories. How I miss them. I probably will not find new friends like them, but I hope that one day our paths will cross again. I miss talking, giggling with them. How are they? I cannot wait to get in touch with them once I get there, with my dad’s phone, to make up for all these days that I’ve lost. People are so essential for a happy life that I hope to find some good and fine girls there, with whom I’ll spend time and will be interested in the same things. I keep going, there’s no going back, because going back means a life without safety, full of force and coercion. I can do better than that. Better than that is freedom, education, justice and security.

Published by the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom with the support of Mikser House. The views expressed in this blog are those of the authors alone. They do not necessarily reflect the views of the Friedrich Naumann Foundation for Freedom.